It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
