I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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