..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
