before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
