He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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