Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
