I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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