I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
