Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
