He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
