who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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