Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
