So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize