Can Purell be used as lube?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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