just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
