i used baking grease as lip gloss
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
