I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize