I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
