real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
