what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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