Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
