my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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