I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Sorry about my life...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize