oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's never too late to be topless.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I love you.
Bad choice
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
