nut hugger
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize