Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
