fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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