Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she told me i tasted like america
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
