I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
