Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
