Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
barbara walters just said penis...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
