Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
