And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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