im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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