I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it's great music for shaving your balls
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
