I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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