so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
