at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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