Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
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I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
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Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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