thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
