Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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