Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
