nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize