i just google imaged poop.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
