Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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