dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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