just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
