why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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