I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
