there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Your penis caused this!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
