don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
