i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
