My boss' voice literally gives me gas
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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