my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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