you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
