She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
