WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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