They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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