I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it's like heaven, but drunker
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
