I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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