He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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