Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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