And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
