Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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