ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
