I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
